Happier post (small talk 6)

topic for this week – 6 animals (domestic, wild, or exotic) you think would be fun to own as pets

1. a parrot. I love birds, i think they're beautiful and intelligent and I would love a pet that could talk back.
2. a ferret. i've had them before and they're just so much fun.
3. a dolphin. i love to swim and I love the water, so a dolphin just makes sense for me.
4. a penguin. super cute and the babies are so fuzzy!
5. a llama. just so i can make it spit at people I don't like.
6. i'm gonna go with a bunny here. i've had lots of bunnies, and I love how they snuggle up right under your chin and give the cutest little bunny kisses. when you're having a bad day, bunny kisses brighten up everything.

Simple somethings

I will warn you, this is not my usual happy "simple pleasures" post. I'm sorry.

My simple pleasure this week was just finishing the week. Things have been rough, and i've been pulling the 'i'm fine' line again. on Good Friday, I blew up. Over something relatively simple too, so I knew it was time to call the doctor and let them know something needed to change. They upped my dosage for zoloft again. I'm still not 100% happy with that office and I really need to find a primary care physician so I can see someone face to face, but at least the ob-gyn is trying.

so this week I was supposed to see how I felt and then call back. I don't know how I feel. I'm still anxious over things, I'm still easily angered and I feel like I have very little control over things. and with these symptoms, I have to wonder if I really even have PPD. Yes, I have little interest in things I used to enjoy. I cry easily, but more often I scream easily. I have days I just want to stay in bed all day- but don't we all? so, I have no clues. I had a better week this week then the last one, but I still just don't feel 'right'.

Noah isn't sleeping and that doesn't help the situation much at all either. and please don't tell me to try crying it out. I got so desperate that I did that one night. it took us 35 minutes for him to calm down and stop crying (we checked on him every 5-8 mins), and then he only slept for an hour. so it's better on me to just go in and soothe him then to hear him cry and STILL get no sleep. and he's learning things so quickly that now I constantly doubt whether I'm providing enough stimulation for him or not. I have so many worries about being a good mom that some nights I just cry for fear that I'm letting him down.

i don't know where I'm going with this, but there it is. sometimes the simplest pleasure of them all is just making it through another day.

I won!

Trinity was kind enough to give me this beautiful award. Here are the rules
1. link back to Trinity (done!)
2. list 7 things that I love
3. link to 7 blogs to let them know they've won, too.

since I love lists, I couldn't resist!
1. My family. I wouldn't be who I am without them, and I wouldn't know what to do without them. They may be crazy, but they're mine.
2. My friends. again, i wouldn't be who I am without them, and I love them all.
3. Facebook. I'm addicted. I love keeping up with people that I haven't seen in awhile, and I have fun with all the lame quizzes and gadgets
4. Music. I always have music on, even when I sleep. I love lyrics, and how there are just certain songs that can express what I'm feeling so much better then any words could.
5. Books. I read, a lot. I love escaping into my books, and I re-read books repeatedly. Some of my favorite characters are also my best friends- I spend lunch with them often.
6. gifts. I love giving out little gifts and toys to my friends, and of course I love getting gifts too.
7. Spring. I had a whole blog entry on how much I love spring, but it's on this list too. I love seasons in general, but Spring is my all time favorite.

7 blogs
Stephanie
Gail
Dawn and Darren
Jenni
Barbara
Amanda
Katie


and there you go!

Small Talk Six

This week's topic is 6 breakfast foods that you love or hate. breakfast is one of my favorite meals, so here goes

1. sausage gravy and biscuits. I love to stop at Cracker Barrel when we drive down south and get my sausage gravy and biscuits.

2. cheese blintz from IHOP. I don't get these often, but they are my favorite treat at IHOP and I look forward to them when I do go.

3. bagels with cream cheese. pretty simple, my favorite is Cinnamon crunch from Panera.

4. french toast. french toast casserole is pretty yummy too. I like it with powdered sugar and just a little syrup

5. bacon. i love love love bacon. my work cafeteria sells stuff a la carte and i love that i can get however many strips of bacon I want.

6. fruit. i love fruit, any time of the day really, but a banana or mixed fruit in the morning is awesome.

donuts and poptarts make the list too, but they're not up there in the top 6.

It's Thursday!

simple pleasures for the week:

-lunch with good friends
-bottomless steak fries
-two new episodes of The Office in one night!
-watching Noah discover new things
-Opening day
-Jeans days at work!
-3 hour naps
-new crunchy clean scents

Small Talk 6

4/4 – 6 of the worst lies you’ve ever told

this week is 6 of the worst lies you've ever told. I try very hard not to lie. I don't like the way it feels when I'm lied to, so I don't like to lie to others. I was a goody two shoes kid that didn't need a curfew b/c my parent's always knew where I was and they trusted me. that being said, I'm not perfect...so here goes.

1. "I love you." I know I said I love you to 2 of my boyfriends when I didn't really feel that way. Yes, I liked them a lot and had affections for them, but they fell short of love and I shouldn't have said it if I didn't feel it.

2. "Fine, I'll just move in with my mom!" Whenever I got into a fight with dad or Danya, I pulled this card. I never would have done it and I would have cried if they ever tried to actually make me. It was a horrible card to pull.

3. "I'm fine!" I said this one a lot right after I had Noah. and it wasn't true at all. I had pretty severe post partum depression. Not bad enough to ever consider hurting Noah, but there were days I considered hurting myself. and I should have told Joe a lot sooner then I did. It scares me to think of what might have happened if I didn't have Joe.

4. The time Melissa and I ditched school to go meet guys we'd found on the internet. We didn't tell anyone where we were going and looking back now I realize how scary that was. I hope Karma doesn't pay me back on this one.

5. "Oh yeah, that sounded great!" It wasn't true. it sounded horrible. no one should ever let you sing in public again, and telling you that you're good is just cruel. I've heard nails on chalkboards that sounded better then you.

6. and I guess the last one would be the time I helped my BIL skip church to go to WaWa with me. but Karma paid me back for that one, I got pulled over for speeding and that was the first ticket I ever got. but I still don't think my ILs know that I helped BIL skip...

Pleasures

-fun new music
-Noah kisses
-artsyfartsyfoofoo fluff!
-lots of fun mail
-talking to Grandpa and meemaw
-rainy days of staying in pj's all day and playing with Noah
-Joe working from home on Friday's now.
-Mud grew lots of new hair this week!
-my fun co-workers