As if I needed

something else to worry about- my milk has suddenly disappeared today. I think it's probably related to the stress I have about going back to work, hopefully it'll come back soon. Noah is still eating fine, I'm just not pumping as much as I used to.

**after this post, i realized it was b/c all i'd eaten all day was a bagel and a snack wrap from McDonald's. idiot**

2 month pictures

are down below. I try to keep this thing in order somewhat, but that often means changing the date of my posts so they're more in line. maybe if I actually updated on time and in order, I wouldn't have to do that :-P

and just b/c it's cute- here's a picture of Noah trying 'seafood' for the first time




*no seahorses were harmed in the making of this photo

It's Saturday

and in the Hamilton household, that means Panera Bread. I just noticed, for the past month or so every Saturday Joe gets us bagels from Panera. I usually get a caramel frozen coffee. Today I was in the mood for something warm, so I got a regular coffee. and I will never make that mistake again. I'm not a coffee snob at all (i put so much cream and sugar in them that it barely resembles coffee), but this stuff is just craptastic. I think Joe wound up putting 7 giant scoops of sugar in it just so I could finish the cup.

In other news, it's also my last full day with Noah before I go back to work. I'm an emotional wreck and have been all week. Last night, I left him with Joe to run a few errands and he fell asleep before I got home. I sobbed for a good 5 minutes b/c I missed my nighttime snuggles and reading time. But Noah woke up 30 minutes after I got home and wanted to nurse, so I felt a little better. I just promised myself I'd always be there when it was bed time.

I'm doing a *little* better then I previously was with the whole idea of going back to work. I miss some of my co-workers and I'm looking forward to seeing them. But the long days are going to suck. It also sucks that I'm going to have to pump so much more. I just don't enjoy the pump at all. I have problems getting my nipple centered in the shield, or I pick the wrong size shield- and I wind up with blood blisters on my nipple or it starts peeling. all in all, not a pleasant situation. but it's important to me to continue nursing so I'll suck it up and pump.

Oh- and i'm a bad mommy that let the camera batteries die, so I have missed some excellent photo opportunities this past week-Noah played peek-a-boo with his bath towel after a bath! It was freaking adorable. He's also started laughing and shrieking. I can't believe how much he's changed already. I need to upload his 2 month photos before it's time for his 3 month photos!

12 days

I only have 12 days left until I have to go back to work :-( I'm not looking forward to this at all, I've been dreading it since before I even left on maternity leave. I wish I could be a stay at home mom, but with our bills there's just no way. Even if I cut out phone, cable, and internet and sold one of our vehicles, we'd have a hard time making the mortgage without both of our salaries.
and I miss the times when it was standard for women to stay at home.

i'm just so afraid that i'm going to miss things. I have no doubt that Noah will remember who his mommy is, I'm already his favorite person. But I'm terrified i'll miss his first time rolling over, or his first time crawling, or any of those things. It kills me inside to know that someone else will be there for it. and even though the people that will be watching him are my mom and joe's mom, it doesn't make me feel any better about leaving him. I'm into attachment parenting. I know my sons cues and I know what he needs. He rarely cries, and we both like it that way. I get tired of hearing people say "it's good for his lungs to cry", or "it won't hurt him to cry". The point is, if he's crying he needs something and it's my #1 job as his mother to take care of it. I don't believe a baby can be spoiled. I just have this vision of him crying all day when I'm not with him. and I know it won't be that bad, but I do worry that my mom or Joe's mom will attempt "Cry It Out" while I'm not around. Maybe I can win the lottery...then I could stay home with him all the time.

It doesn't help that I'm going back to a job I don't absolutely love. But then again, after 'mom' has been my job for the past 12 weeks, no job would be able to compare.

2month checkup, 4th of july, and randomness

Noah had his 2 month check-up on his 2 month birthday. He's a healthy little guy and the doctor was impressed by his eye contact and interactions already, oh, and he's already getting teeth ridges! So the increase in drool and the constant sucking on things may mean he's already teething. He does like cool rags rubbed on his gums- he smiles hugely when you do that. but then again, he also sucks the water off the rags, so maybe it's just the water that he likes.

Anyway, he was 12lbs 14oz and 24 1/4 inches long. 3 lbs and 3 inches since his last checkup! He received vaccinations, which wasn't too fun for mommy. Noah cried a bit, but then he was mainly sleepy the rest of the day (excluding the fit he threw in Target, but we won't talk about that). He had a mild case of pink eye too, so we had to give him eye drops, but it's already cleared up now. I gave him some tylenol and cuddled him the rest of the day, and when he woke up the next morning he was back to his happy self.

For the fourth of July, we went to my mom's house. We had a small cookout and set off some fireworks in the backyard. Noah slept through them, but we did get a few cute pictures of him from earlier in the day. As soon as I load them onto the computer, I'll post some of them. All in all, he had a pleasant 1st holiday even if he did sleep through most of it!

in random news, i have a dentist appt tomorrow. i developed a toothache before we went on vacation and it's not gotten any better. in fact, it's gotten so bad that my throat now hurts as well, and the underside of my tongue is swollen. But Joe has been sick, so he could have given me whatever he has. Oh, I also think I might have thrush on my nipples. I have to call my doctor in the morning. and i need my eyes checked. so really, i'm just falling apart. I have a haircut appt next Saturday though and i'm looking forward to that. It'll be the longest time I've left Noah yet, and that part scares me, but I love haircuts and he'll be with his daddy anyways.

2 month photos

(these were actually taken on july 3rd b/c Noah had his two month shots on his two month birthday and was not a happy camper)
Oh boy, here we go again!





Maybe if I wiggle, she'll stop with the pictures




I'm officially DONE! No more photos!

Vacation

Noah had his first vacation. It was definitely quite an adventure! First, we left Friday afternoon (at 2:30 pm). By 9:30 that night, we'd only made it to Emporia VA. We finally gave up and found a hotel for the night. Noah woke up at 5:30 the next morning and we were on the road by 6:30. This day went much smoother then Friday and we learned we need to drive early in the day so that Noah isn't so grumpy. We made it to Charleston by about 2:00 and checked into the scariest motel on earth at 3:00. Erin came out and met us, then we drove to Susan's house and went out to dinner. Noah was an absolute angel! We went back to the hotel after dinner and then proceeded to try to sleep. between stupid truckers and a bull frog, it was a long night. Sunday morning we met up with Erin again and then went into downtown Charleston. We checked out the open air market and then spent some time at the pool in Susan's neighborhood.



We grabbed dinner with Erin at California Dreaming, and then we were on the road again to meet my parent's up in Myrtle Beach!

We camped with my parent's for the rest of the week- in a fully air conditioned trailer of course. Since Noah was too young to wear sun screen, we didn't actually do all that much, but I enjoyed having a week with Joe and Noah and my parents and found it pretty relaxing. We went to dinner several times, and made it out to Barefoot Landing (which sucks major donkey butt by the way- they are the most inaccessible place I've ever been to!). I also caught up on my reading!
We bought this outfit for Noah, but he kinda outgrew it before he really got to wear it.


and this is him on the beach, doing his favorite thing(sleeping),and touching sand for the first time...



He also met his great grandparent's while down there! Excuse the tilt on the first one, I forgot to rotate it.



We're glad to be back home and back to our regular routine, but it was fun!